A subscriber expresses hurt, disappointment, and feelings of rejection by God.
It became clear to me that I am not chosen by God. I had read in the Bible how there are many who are invited but not all are chosen.
I had been praying to God about needing help in trusting Him, for the hurts in my heart to heal so that I may be able to trust him. Major bad things happened that I won't go into that told me loud & clear God hasn't chosen me.
I read in the bible how God has spoken to many people... Himself, angels, etc. I have been asking God to let me know He DOES want me... I just need to hear something from God. The Bible shows that He did... Is it wrong to look for things I've read in the Bible?
I hurt so much to think I am not worth anything to God. I USED TO believe it was for everyone... I don't any longer.
I can understand your hurt and disappointment.
It is a lonely and empty feeling to feel that God does not want you, love you, or care about you. We all may go through times of those feelings on occasion, but there are also times when such feelings can take hold of us and potentially destroy our faith in God and our relationship with Him. That may be happening to you now.
Allow me to share a few thoughts with you.
There is a verse that says,
For many are called, but few are chosen. (Mat 22:14 NLT)
The above verse is taken from a passage of Scripture that talks about a man who prepared a great feast. Those invited would not come. So he opened the feast to anyone on the street, the homeless, the sick, the poor, etc, saying,
Now go out to the street corners and invite everyone you see. (Mat 22:9 NLT)
One man came in a very disrespectful manner. He is the one about whom Jesus said, "Many are called but few are chosen". This was also the "point" of His parable. In other words, He was saying, all are invited, but not all will respond or appreciate and respect the invitation given them.
The word "called" essentially means "invited", and "chosen" could be considered to mean "accepted" (in the way we think today). In other words, many have been invited, but few have accepted the invitation.
It is not that God has excluded some people because He does not love them. The invitations have been sent out. Some have not yet responded. He will not refuse anyone or any "acceptance" of the invitation.
Jesus also said,
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16 KJV)
Another translation says it this way:
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NLT)
"Whosoever" and "everyone" means that you and I are included - already - no exceptions. No one is excluded.
Paul also said in Hebrews:
By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God (Heb 10:10-12 KJV)
Jesus died for ALL sin - once. It is done, and it open to ALL.
Some have taken certain verses in the Bible out of context to say that God does not love everyone, i.e., has not chosen everyone, but that is not consistent with the WHOLE Bible. God loves every human being and is not willing that ANY should perish without Him (see John 3:16 above).
I know you want a confirmation of God's personal love for you. But please understand: You may never "hear" God "speak" to you. I am not saying that He will not, but He may not. You should not judge your relationship with Him on the basis of whether you hear an audible voice or have some type of supernatural "sign" from Him.
He has already told you that He loves you and you are unconditionally acceptable to Him. He put it in writing for everyone to see, accept, and depend upon.
...and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. (John 6:37 KJV)
Another translation puts it this way:
...and I will never reject them. (John 6:37 NLT)
You must accept by faith what He says and trust Him. Jesus loved you enough to die for you (see Hebrews 10:10-12 above). He would not now exclude you. It cost His life to make it possible for you to have a relationship with Him. He would not now consider that a worthless thing.
The basis of our relationship with Him is faith.
So, you see, it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. (Heb 11:6 NLT)
Basing evidence of your relationship with God on supernatural signs, hearing God in a audible manner, circumstances, etc., is a dangerous, disappointing, and potentially painful path. God has made it clear in the written word that it is by faith - by trusting Him and trusting what He said. If we derive our evidence of relationship with Him by such signs, it is no longer by faith. What is seen, touched, or heard is not the same.
Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. (John 20:29 KJV)
Trust Him. He meant what He said. He said it to you as much as to anyone else.
It may take a "leap of faith" for you to accept this. That is something you will have to do. No one can do that for you, and that is as it should be. You must trust what He said to you. You will have to accept it as fact, without any other evidence than what He said in John 3:16.
Read John 3:16 again. Read it over and over. Then, make a choice to believe it. Ask God to help you believe it. You may not feel different at first, but choose anyway. You may not feel different for a long time. But stick to your choice, regardless of your feelings. That is the beginning of faith.
I can assure you from experience, having walked that path, that He meant what He said.
G. Randall Vaughn